by Steven Lance 
Author of Written Out of Television: A TV Lover's Guide To Cast Changes 

"Steve, how do I get my book published?" Of all the questions I field on a daily basis, this is the one most frequently asked.

There's an old jokes that goes:

Q -"How do I get to Carnegie Hall?"

A - "Practice, practice, practice."

That's pretty much the same way with publishing though it is indeed possible to get in, providing you possess talent and have the stamina to endure rejection. I suppose the single most important word here is, "perseverance."

My high school English teacher, Mr. A.K. Quinn, (whom I lovingly think of as "The Mighty Quinn" named for that popular song) told me right off the bat that, "The only way to get published is to be willing to collect rejection slips."

What Mr. Quinn was speaking about is that when a book is "not" accepted by a publishing house, the author is generally sent a printed form thanking them for the submission, explaining that it was not right for them at this time, and wishing you good luck in placing it elsewhere.

If the unpublished author is extremely fortunate, they might even get a form letter. The best of these, just short of a letter of acceptance, is a personal rejection. And before Written Out of Television was published, I got a couple of each.

Actually, my story goes even further back than that. Because my first book, The Official Do You Have What it Takes for Business? Test, has still not found a home at a publishing house.

The book, a tongue-in-cheek test designed to ascertain one's business savvy through a series of 125 ridiculous questions that are wonderfully illustrated by Gordon R. Carleton has more miles on it than Air Force I. But, it is because of this book that I was able to write and publish, Written Out of Television.

Naturally, the first step was to write the book. Now, there is no hard fast rule that the manuscript (a term used for the unpublished work) has to be complete before being submitted, as I'll discuss later on), but it is my professional opinion that it is a pretty damn good idea. Why? Because, as an unpublished, and therefore, unknown writer, a publisher is going to have to take a much bigger risk on the submission of an incomplete manuscript. One, because there is the possibility that the subsequent chapters will not hold up to the standards set in those submitted. And, two, because there is every likelihood that the manuscript will never be completed! The author may be well meaning, but could just run out of ideas, or enthusiasm for the project, and where does this leave the publisher?

Once the manuscript (or sample chapters) are completed the author is ready to begin the process of selling the work to a publishing house. There are some who feel they would prefer to "self-publish," meaning take on the full burden (and cost) of editing, typesetting, printing, binding, distribution and marketing. This can, of course, be done and some authors find self-publishing very rewarding. However, I have heard that the self-published author, is not taken quite a seriously by editors and publishers when they submit a later work. Why? Because signing with a publishing house means that someone is willing to take a risk on your work. It means that someone in the business believes that your work will earn them money and that is virtually the only reason a publisher is in business...to make money.

Now comes the hard work to find a publisher who will be interested enough to buy your manuscript. There are two methods for this stage.

Method One: Hire an Agent

Method Two: Submit the book "over the transom" yourself

As an unpublished author you will most likely find it difficult, or even impossible to find an agent who will take you on as a client. Unless you are already a "name-brand" personality, like a Hollywood actor, or politician (sometimes can be interchangeable) the chances of being accepted by an agent are very slim.

How does an author find an agent? The same place the author will find a publisher...in the Literary Market Place better known as the LMP.

The phonebook-size LMP is truly the bible of the publishing world. Not only is it the source for authors to find agents and publishers, it is also the source publishers use to find printers, binders, editors, illustrators and more.

What is the LMP? The LMP is a very expensive reference ($189 through the PlanetShowbiz BookShoppe) book that, while may be purchased, is best used for free at your local library. The book is published yearly and is a mainstay in nearly every library in the country so you shouldn't have very much trouble getting your hands on one. Simply step up to the Reference Desk and ask to borrow the LMP. The librarian will know what you're talking about.

This book is the "bible" of the publishing industry. That is everyone in the Publishing business uses it. Publishers use it to locate printing and binding houses. Printing and binding houses use it to locate publishers who can use their services. Publishers use it to find distributors. They even use it to locate illustrators and photographers.

Publishing Agents use it to find publishers for their projects and publishers use it to find agents who may be handling specific projects.

Naturally, Authors, Illustrators, and photographers use it to find agents and publishers. Publishing is really just one big happy family. And like many businesses, often incestuous. (read tough to break in).

Now, there is an affordable version of this publication that only contains the publishers and agents sections, since most authors don't need to find bookbinders. Then again, if you are of going the route of "self-gratification" better known as self-publishing, vanity presses are also listed. Why are they called "vanity presses?" You figure it out.

This book, which can be purchased through the www.PlanetShowbiz.com BookShoppe for less than $23, is the 2000 Writer's Market: 8,000 Editors Who Buy What You Write (Writers Market 2000) by Kirsten Holm (Editor). Much more focused and concise than the LMP, the Writer's Market makes it easy for both new and experienced writers to find a home for their work.

First, turn to the section that lists publishers by category. For example, If your book is about Television, look under "Television" for a list of publishers who publish books about Television. Either jot their names down, or if a copy machine is handy, Xerox the list.

Second, look up each publisher listed on your list and thoroughly read the entry. It will tell you something about the publishing house. When they were established? How many books a year they publish? What are the payment percentages (known as Royalties) which may be based on either the cover price of your book, or the wholesale price of your book? This is generally followed by instructions for submissions. There will be mailing addresses, telephone numbers, and the names of editors. Make sure you follow these directions to the letter.

If the listing says only accept manuscripts through licensed agents, they mean just that, and for now should be put at the bottom of your submission list.

They may also say, "No Phone Calls." They really mean that too. A telephone call to a publisher who clearly stated "No Phone Calls" will immediately cross you off their list. So, please don't eliminate yourself even before your manuscript is submitted.

The other very important note to be aware of is, for simultaneous submissions, which means just that. . . submitting your manuscript to more than one publisher at a time. Many publishers want the luxury of being the only publishing house, or "house" who is considering your work. They do not want to get into a bidding war from an "unknown," and/or "unpublished" writer.

On the flip side is that many publishers say, "Simultaneously Submissions Okay." But, it is my advice to fight the impulse and still only submit your manuscript to one publisher at a time.

The very best way to protect your unpublished manuscript, book idea, or notes is to register it with the Writers Guild of America. There are offices in New York City and Los Angeles, California and you don't have to be a WGA member to take advantage of this service. You can reach the Writer's Guild of America East (WGAE) Registration Department by phone at (212) 757-4360. The registration fee for non-members for works from 1-150 pages is $22. Bulkier works from 150-350 pages will cost $32 pages to register. They will also give you instructions for ordering (at about $1 each) preprinted submission envelopes. For manuscripts greater than 350 pages, your registration fee will jump to $57, still a small price to pay for the protection it provides. It is also recommended you visit the Writers Guild of America on line at http://www.wga.org for a wealth of information about writing, particularly television scripts and motion picture screenplays, which are the mainstays of the WGA.

If you are a decent writer and have the tenacity to stick it out, chances are you will eventually find a publisher who will agree to look at your work. And here is how you submit it.

1. Find an envelope/box large enough to have your manuscript returned. Take this to the Post Office and weigh it for return postage. Purchase the postage in stamps (do not let the postal clerk affix a stamped label, as those are date sensitive) and affix the postage to the outside of the envelope/box, which should also have a pre-typed/neatly hand printed address to you.

2. Write a brief cover letter thanking the editor for agreeing to look at your manuscript and perhaps in a few sentences refreshing their memory about the gist of your work. This cover letter will also allow you to mention some point that you may have omitted from your initial correspondence.

4. Also enclose a post card address to you with a note on the back with the name of the publisher and title of your manuscript. I've never found an editor who didn't mind dropping the post card in the mail, which is a simple way of confirming it's safe arrival, without you having to call the editor. . . a definite no-no.

4. Now, pack the manuscript and return envelope/box into an envelope/box large enough to hold the whole shootin' match. Seal all side with brown packing tape and affix your mailing label. Now take this off to your favorite shipper.

Since you are presumably sending this package out you visit your shipper; you can use the Post Office and get a dated stamp. You may also feel more comfortable using one of the overnight or second-day shippers such as UPS, or Federal Express. This is completely up to you and your wallet.

5. Here is where a saint's patience comes into play. It could conceivably take anywhere from one week to three months (quite normal) until you hear from the publisher.

6. Calling the editor to check the status of your manuscript. After waiting about six weeks, if you've not yet heard back from the publisher it is appropriate at this time to place a very brief telephone call to check on the status of your work. Answers could include things such as they haven't had an opportunity to look at it yet, to it is now being read by another editor, or it is on the schedule for the next editorial meeting during which time the next batch of books are selected. Depending on the publisher these meetings could take place daily, weekly, monthly, or even quarterly. There is no telling this ahead of time without asking, as the system will vary from publisher to publisher.

Unless you are an established celebrity, or have a very high-profile position in society, chances are that the fist time out, your manuscript will be rejected. That's okay. Sometime you will actually get a note with and explanation about why your book was not accepted and that will help you better focus your search for a publisher. Most times, however, you'll receive a pre-printed form letter, memo, or card with the reason for your rejection "checked off" in a little box.

And while it may seem placating, no editor/publisher will ever tell you the reason they have turned down your submission is because it sucked, even though it may very well suck. They will say something like, "Thank you for giving us the opportunity to review your manuscript. Unfortunately it is not right for our list at this time. We wish you well with your project."

Remember that the best writer/English teacher I have met, "The Mighty Quinn" reminded me that the only way to get published was to collect rejection slips, and he was right. They are your "Pink Badges of Courage" and not every writer ever gets far enough to even get a rejection slip. So, congratulations. Welcome to the world of publishing.

When writing my first tome, Written Out of Television, the research and writing was so intense that the only way I could relax was with a cup of tea. Being part English, I became fascinated with my grand mum’s favorite beverage, and began sampling many, many varieties, a focused on learning how to make the perfect cup.

It then occurred to me that there are lots of tea books on the market, but none had all of the information "I" wanted to know. So the research began.

Nearly two years later I am now actually "writing" the manuscript.

The book will feature lots of quotes about tea, but to keep true to my connection to my showbiz roots, I am specifically including quotes about tea from Television programs and Motion pictures.

Send me ANY tea quotation from a Television program, series, cartoon, special, Made-for-TV Movie, or Motion Picture and I'll include your name in the book's "Acknowledgments" whether the quote gets used or not.

Naturally, I have dozens of quotes already, so I may, or may not be able to use yours. But, I will still put your name in the book’s acknowledgements for taking the trouble to collect the tea quote for me as there are other tea books being planned for this series.

There are a couple of areas that I’m really stuck on for quotes. I would like specific quotes about the Boston Tea Party, Decaffeinated Tea, Tea Pots, Tea Spoons and tea utensils like Tea Balls, and anything else you can come up with.

Please include the following:

A: Tea Quotation

B: Character's name who said it

C: Name of actor who played the character

D: Name of Film.

E: Name of TV Series and Episode Title if there is one.

F: Release Date of the film or Airing of TV show

EXAMPLES OF SOME QUOTES I'VE ALREADY COLLECTED

1. All quotes from the Adventures of Superman

2. All quotes from MY FAIR LADY and PYGMALIAN

3. All quotes from THE GREAT ESCAPE

4. All quotes from LEPRECHAUN

5. Pearl’s quote about tea parties from SpongeBob Squarepants

6. A couple of quotes from Friends

7. A quote about Earl Grey tea from Star Trek: The Next Generation